by John Bower

I can greatly love and respect men, and strongly, intensely, disagree with them and think their position is wrong and tell them so and others so, and afterwards we can go to Baskin-Robbins and have some ice cream. I see no inconsistency with being able to really enjoy one another and at the same time disagree over doctrine and issues that are very important to the body of Christ. So I may try to refute everything they say in the strongest terms, and even get emotional and jump up and down, and at the same times they can be the greatest friends God has ever blessed me with.

I totally agree with Doug on the majority view, but the majority view does not mean it’s correct. Often the majority view is totally wrong. Probably all of us here would consider many majority views to be incorrect. But I am way in the minority on this one, and I understand that; so anyone who holds to my view, you’re probably the lone ranger out there, because there are not many who believe what I believe.

People assume that to say you don’t forgive must also mean that you are bitter, that you don’t love, and that you’re not gracious and kind. But, to the contrary, I boldly state that I don’t forgive and at the same time I am not bitter, I am not to be bitter, but that does not mean that I have forgiven sin. I love the one that I have not forgiven; God does, and so can I. I can even love my enemies, but that is not forgiving my enemies. God loves those He has never forgiven, and so can I.

Third, I can be gracious to those I have not forgiven. God is. He makes His rain to fall on the just and the unjust. He makes His rain to fall on those He has forgiven and also those He has not forgiven. So can I. At the very same time that I don’t forgive, apart from their repentance, I long to be able to forgive when God does so, but that is not apart from their repentance.

In summary, lack of forgiveness does not exclude love and graciousness, and does not have to include bitterness.

This is not just an academic issue with me, where we split hairs over with repentance or without repentance. This is as important to me as this: am I going to hell or not. So you see this is not an indifferent issue to me; it is vitally important. If I believed that I am commanded to forgive apart from their repentance (and I don’t believe that), then I would make a case that according to Matthew 6:15 the person who has a life-long pattern of refusing to forgive apart from their repentance has proven himself to be unforgiven by God and damned to hell. I would want people to know that, because it’s crucial to their soul.

That statement, that I will probably refuse to forgive many as a life-long pattern, describes me. I have a life-long pattern of refusing to cancel the debt, apart from their repentance, because God does not, and I want to follow Him in how I forgive. So this is not an unimportant side issue to me. My eternal damnation hangs in the balance if I am wrong.

My position: God nowhere commands me to forgive apart from their repentance. Let me repeat that. God nowhere commands me to forgive apart from their repentance.

The reasons for my belief:

1. God Does Not Forgive Apart from Repentance. 
First John 1:9 – If we confess … he forgives. If we do not confess, He is not forgiving. In forgiveness, God does not forgive those who don’t confess, so for me to follow God’s pattern, it is never apart from their repentance. For me to forgive apart from repentance requires me to be more gracious in extending forgiveness than God is, and that is not commanded for me to do.

So for me to follow God’s pattern of forgiveness, it is never apart from repentance. For me to forgive apart from repentance requires me to be more gracious in extending forgiveness than God.

In trying to understand how forgiveness and repentance relate to one another, we have two issues: repentance and forgiveness. How do they connect? How do they relate? Are they dependent on one another or not? For us to understand that, we need to go to the clearest passages that connect both repentance and forgiveness in one passage, where we see both issues dealt with at the same time. Not the passages that deal with just one ore the other. Our clearest understanding will not be with those passages that just tell us to forgive or just tell us to repent and don’t connect the two. Our clearest understanding is with passages that in one place deal with both.

We have those passages. Luke 17:3 connects both. "If he repents, forgive him" and if he comes back bazillion times saying "I repent," forgive him. The understanding is, if he does not do that, you do not forgive. It connects both concepts, forgiveness and repentance, in one passage.

First John1:9 does the same thing; I believe it basically speaks to the same issue, that if we confess our sins God forgives, that if we do not, He does not.

Acts 2:38 says, "Repent for the forgiveness of sins."

So we have passages that connect both repentance and forgiveness, and they are consistent in that forgiveness is not apart from repentance. I believe that these verses clarify the other passages where only forgiveness is talked about.

It would be great, for those who do not believe as I do, if there were a verse somewhere that connected forgiveness and repentance that says, "Forgive them even when there is no remorse, confession, or repentance." If we had a verse like that, I would say that is a slam-dunk, if we could find a verse that clarified it that way and said, "Even if they do not repent, confess anything, forgive them anyway." We don’t have that. Do you know what we do have? "If they repent, forgive." Over and over again, "If they repent, forgive."

I’m still looking for the verse that says, "This is such an important issue, folks, I want you to understand what God really means on this, and His meaning is, even when they don’t repent, confess remorse or anything, you are to forgive them anyway." We don’t have that.

I’ve got my verses that connect the two concepts, and I think they give us the clearest understanding of the relationship between repentance and forgiveness, and it is never apart from repentance.

Let me illustrate another way. If we were dealing with another subject, that subject being people coming to salvation and coming to eternal life, do you realize that in God’s … if I were to take someone to a gospel or to a book that is to me the hallmark of how to be saved, how to gain eternal life, this is the information I want to convey on how to bring someone to eternal life and what you have to do, I would go to the Gospel of Jehn. That’s the stated purpose of the entire Gospel of John. Do you realize in the Gospel of John that it never once mentions repentance for salvation. It never includes repentance in any of the verses on salvation. Example, John 3:16. Nicodemus goes to Jesus. What’s Nicodemus told? "Whoever believes will not perish, but will have eternal life." Now the context of that is old Nick standing there, and this is his first meeting with Jesus (I’m assuming; he went to him by night) and what is he told as touching eternal life? Believe and you’ll be saved. "For God so loved the world that He gave His only begotten Son, that whosoever believeth in Him should not perish, but have eternal life." That’s what he’s told.

Do you see repentance anywhere in that verse? Totally absent! It’s not there! You have to read it in, you have to force it in there to get repentance in there. So what’s our conclusion? Do you all believe that God’s intention and Christ’s meaning to Nicodemus was to try to tell him that all he had to do was, "You just have to believe apart from repentance."? Do you honestly believe that, that he was trying to tell Nicodemus, "You just have to believe apart from repentance"? I don’t think that’s our understanding. So what do we do? How do we get it in there? We go to all the rest of scripture, and we understand that there is no forgiveness apart from repentance. That’s our understanding of it. So what happens when we go through the entire Gospel of John and all we hear is "Believe and you’ll have eternal life" and there is no repentance anywhere? The Apostle Paul uses repentance very rarely. That’s not a hallmark that he talks about at all. So are we to understand that when repentance is not inserted into a passage that in that context to the person who is hearing it at that time (that being Nicodemus and others in many other places) that they would have left confused that they could be saved and have eternal life based on belief only, apart from repentance? I don’t think so. I don’t believe that at all.

So my understand of that, and the fact that I believe that, even though it’s not there, I have to include repentance in there, or there is no salvation. To be consistent, likewise I say, in the area of forgiveness, even though I would agree it’s not there, you have to read it in there, you have to force it in there, you have to take the little word and insert it there. I do it anyway, for the exact same reasons: because my understanding is that even though it’s not said in the passage, the people hearing it and understanding it at that time had the understanding (I hope they had the understanding, and Christ wasn’t leaving them confused about this issue) that they could have eternal life with only belief and apart from repentance. And I hope He was not conveying that they could be forgiven apart from repentance, and that we should forgive others apart from repentance. It’s not in the passage. It’s not there. You have to read it in.

But I go to Luke 17 and I go to other passages that always connect forgiveness with repentance.

2. Scripture Examples of Conditional Christian Forgiveness. 
Another reason why I believe that there is no forgiveness commanded to me apart from their repentance is because I believe that the passages themselves cry out for an interpretation that there is no forgiveness apart from repentance. Let me give you some examples.

2 Cor 2:7-10 is a passage that I assume is talking about Christian forgiveness. Let’s assume that this person has sinned. Maybe it was the one in incest in 1 Cor. 5 and maybe it was not. But someone had sinned and something had happened. The body of believers treated them differently. Let’s listen to what it says. Does this scream forgiveness apart from repentance or does it scream forgiveness conditioned upon repentance? (2 Cor. 2:6) Paul is saying to them, "Sufficient for such a one is this punishment." So we learn right now that punishment was a good thing; their punishment was not a bad thing, it was acceptable for them to be punished. We learn that right off: punishment is OK. Can a body of Christian believers punish? Yes, they can. Is there a limit to that? Yes, there should be. But to punish someone because of their sin is not inconsistent with God at all. It is not inconsistent for believers to punish someone. "Sufficient" it’s been enough, you’ve punished them enough, "Sufficient for such a one is this punishment which was inflicted by the majority. So that on the contrary you should rather forgive and comfort him, lest somehow such a one be overwhelmed by excessive sorrow." Is your understanding of that passage that this man never confessed, never repented, and was entrenched in his sin? And that Paul told them, "Sufficient is the punishment. OK, you’ve done it long enough, he’s still a so and so and he’s still an unrepentant sinner but hey, we’ve wallowed this thing around long enough so just go ahead and forgive him apart from any repentance"?

Why did he say, "so that on the contrary"? On the contrary, I believe, is "on the contrary, you’ve punished enough, because now he has repented." And it talks about him being overwhelmed by excessive sorrow. Why is he going to be overwhelmed by excessive sorrow if he has not repented of it? So I believe many passages cry out for an interpretation of no forgiveness being commanded apart from repentance.

The passages that Doug has brought up are basically parallel passages, the Colossians 3:13 that John Dugas has taught on already, and Ephesians 4:32. Basically, they say this: that we are forgiving each other, whoever has a complaint against anyone, just as the Lord forgave you. My question, where my mind goes immediately is, it doesn’t stop at "forgiving each other" period. If it stopped there, I might buy into the other belief. It doesn’t stop there. It says, "forgiving each other, whoever has a compliant against each other" … how? How am I to forgive? "Just as the Lord forgave you." How has God forgiven us? Graciously! Can I do that? Should I do that? Yeah. Abundantly. He does, should I? Yeah. Repeatedly, over and over again? Yes, God does. Should I be like Him in that? Yeah, I should. Joyously; does God forgive us joyously? Yes, He does. Should I do the same thing? Should I be like Him? Yes, yes, yes and yes.

And somehow, when it gets to how God forgives, (which is never apart from repentance It doesn’t happen. It never happens, God forgiving apart from repentance) when we insert that, and we’ve said "yes, yes, yes and yes" now we insert "no"?

"John, you can’t forgive like God. He does it never apart from repentance, but you’re not supposed to emulate Him in that way. You do in all these other ways, but we stop right there, and you can’t be like God. You’re not to forgive like God in that way." I don’t buy that.

I see the Ephesians and Colossians passages not as being a rebuttal to what I believe but absolutely validating what I believe, because of the fact that you have to ask the question, "How does God forgive?" And what is the answer to that question? "Never apart from repentance." So how am I to forgive? Never apart from repentance.

Let’s look at Matthew 6:12, 14 & 15. This is another one that, on the surface, would appear to just blow me out of the tub. What am I going to do with passages like this? How do I weasel around these? In verse 12, it says, "Forgive us our debts as we have also forgiven our debtors." We want to be forgiven our debts as we have forgiven others. And down in 14 it says, "For if you forgive men for their transgressions your Heavenly Father will also forgive you."

What’s our understanding of that? Let me tell you what it says, and then I’ll tell you what I think it means. What it says is "If you forgive men for their trespasses, your Heavenly Father will also forgive you." That is what it says. OK?

Susie commits adultery against me, and is unrepentant, does not confess, she is entrenched, shakes her hand against God, defies God, defies me, sins against me, the whole nine yards. Okay? If I forgive her for her trespass, her sin, apart from her repentance, I forgive her, so I have fulfilled part A here, I’ve done that. "Your Heavenly Father will also forgive you." – so I go out and commit adultery, am unrepentant, unconfessed and all , and my Heavenly Father will forgive me. That’s what it says. I did what it says. I forgave her apart from her repentance, and now God is going to forgive me apart from my repentance. Is that what you believe? That’s what it says.

But I don’t think that’s the understanding of what it means, even though say that. My understanding is, this is what I’m asking God for – "God, you have forgiven me when I repent, you have been gracious to me over and over again, and if I committed adultery against my wife, if I did that and I was unrepentant and defied You and shook my hand in Your face and said, ‘I will not repent of that. I will not stop it. I’m going to continue sinning against her,’" – my belief is that God is not forgiving me.

You know what, do you really want Him to? Do you want God to forgive unconditionally, a blank check, no-fault forgiveness, carte blanche, let’s just forgive?

What I think that means is, "Forgive me my debt, forgive me my sin of adultery against my wife when I repent of that and can be cleansed, I confess it to you, I can be cleansed from that, God I want You to forgive me when I repent, And when others do the same to me, when they sin against me and they repent, I want to forgive them just like You forgave me when I repented." I cannot read that passage any way in the world and take it like it says, with the theology in my understanding of the total sum of scripture, and believe that God is wanting to forgive me apart from repentance if I forgive others apart from repentance.

Let’s look at some specific examples of real situations in scripture where there is sin and what happens to that. Doug has mentioned one this morning, the whole story of Joseph. To me that is a beautiful passage that illustrates exactly what I am talking about. On this one would you please turn to Genesis 42:21-23. To give a little background, let me tell you what has happened here. This is the first visit of the brothers; they’re seeing Joseph for the first time. Now he is going to put some of them in prison, he is going to speak and deal harshly with them, he is going to cause great duress and pain fear to come to them, he’s going to cause these things to happen and even going to imprison some of them. Now let’s look if this is an illustration of forgiveness apart form repentance. "Then they" (and I take it that they is all of them, the whole kit and kaboodle, all the brothers, were in unison and were all agreed on this) "then they said to one another, ‘Truly we are guilty concerning our brother’" That sounds like confession to me. Doesn’t it to you. I kind of think that’s confession. "‘Truly we are guilty concerning our brother, because we saw the distress of his soul when he pleaded with us, yet we would not listen. Therefore this distress has come upon us.’ And Reuben answered them, saying, ‘Did I not tell you, "Do not sin against the boy," and you would not listen. Now comes the reckoning for this blood.’ And they did not know, however, that Joseph understood, for there was an interpreter between them." Duh, I think I would forgive somebody if my brothers came and said, "Do remember back when you pleaded with us. And now this terrible thing has come upon us because of our sin and everything." I think I would too, because they’ve met the qualifications. This to me, far from being any illustration of forgiveness apart from repentance, screams that what actually happened here was forgiveness when there was repentance. It’s a tangible illustration. When I go to illustration after illustration in scripture I get that when the forgiveness comes, never is it apart from repentance. It doesn’t happen. This is not one of them. It does not scream for forgiveness apart from repentance. Joseph heard what they said, he understood their hearts desire, the confession of their sin, and I think the restoration came after that, subsequent to that.

The Prodigal Son, Luke 15. Again, how am I to understand the connection, if there is any, between repentance and forgiveness? Is the prodigal son story a story that screams at us, "Forgive him apart form any repentance?" I don’t see it. What do I see? Verse 17, "But when he came to his senses he said, ‘How many of my father’s hired men have more than enough bread and I am dying here with hunger. I will get up and go to my father and I will say to him, "Father, I have sinned against heaven and in your sight. I am no longer worthy to be called your son. Make me as one of your hired men." Verse 21 "Father, I have sinned against heaven and in your sight. I am no longer worthy to be called your son." This whole illustration to us is a picture of forgiveness when there is repentance. It is not an illustration contrary to that.

Let’s look at Philemon, another real life example of a real sin situation; Onesimus sinned. Paul is pleading with Philemon, he’s not demanding he’s pleading with him, to forgive. Do you know what’s happened? Onesimus has repented; he’s going to back and put himself back in. He has confessed, he has acknowledged his sin, he’s going back, he’s going to try to restore, he’s going to make restitution, he’s going try to make it all right. Hey, I can forgive under those conditions. That’s what God wants me to do. That’s what God always does, with repentance. Philemon is an example to me of an illustration, again, of forgiveness when there is repentance.

I’m still looking for the passage that gives us a real life illustration about Joe and Harry, and it says, "You know, Joe never repented, and he never confessed, and Harry is commanded to forgive him anyway, apart from repentance.: I haven’t found it. I find example after example that connects forgiveness never apart from repentance.

Look at Matthew 18. Again, this screams to me, "forgiveness with repentance." Look at verse 32. "Then summoning him his lord said to him, ‘You wicked servant. I forgave you all that debt based on nothing." No. "I forgave you all that debt because you entreated me." That sounds kind of conditional to me. "Because you entreated me." The whole message here is talking about someone who was forgiven because he entreated, because he prostrated himself. If someone comes to me and prostrates himself that’s kind of smacking of repentance and confession to me. In 26 he falls down, he prostrates himself, he begs for mercy, he says "Have patience with me and I will pay you everything." Well of course he couldn’t, but his hearts desire, he said, basically "I will work the rest of my life trying to repay that." We have an illustration of someone who was forgiven based on his repentance, prostrate falling down, the whole nine yards, based on that, and it says that specifically, "because you entreated me" in verse 32. What’s the problem here? This guy that was forgiven when he fell down prostrated, pled, entreated, the whole nine yards, he was unwilling to do that same thing to his fellow slave, to his compadre, when he did the exact same thing. He was unwilling. Look in verse 29, "His fellow slave fell down and began to entreat him, saying …" This is not an illustration of forgiveness apart from repentance, It’s a perfect illustration of exactly what I’m talking about; you have repentance in there.

So we have example after example where the scriptures themselves just cry out, I believe, for that interpretation.

3. The Definition of the Term Forgiveness. 
Another problem I have is the definition of the word "forgive" itself, and Doug and I would agree that the best definition and understanding is the "cancellation of a debt." How can I forgive all sin (as I think Doug has alluded to, not just be willing to forgive, or have a heart that wants to and desires to forgive but won’t apart from repentance) and actually in fact grant true real forgiveness, which is the cancellation of a debt, and then try to get paid back the debt I have just really and truly forgiven and cancelled. I don’t do that with the dental patients at my office. If they owe me money, I do not forgive them that debt, I have not cancelled that debt. Am I bitter against them? No. Could I do good for them? Could I help them by the roadside if they were dying and bleeding to death? Yes. I can do all kinds of gracious things like God does. But have I forgiven them? No. Will I forgive them? No. They’re unforgiven. I don’t understand how I can say, "I have cancelled the debt, I have forgiven you, but I want my hundred dollars back." I do not see two types of forgiveness, a forgiveness "A" that’s unconditional and a forgiveness "B" that’s conditional. I see one forgiveness in God’s understanding and the mind of God, and it is always conditioned on repentance, it is never apart from repentance.

4. Where the Focus of Forgiveness Is. 
Another problem I have is where the focus of forgiveness is. In my view, the focus of forgiveness should be on the welfare and restitution and reconciliation of the sinner. That should be my focus. How is that accomplished if I in any sense forgive their sin apart from their repentance? If I unconditionally forgive, does that teach them in their mind, does that help them in their understanding, if I forgive them unconditionally apart from nothing. Am I loving them and helping them to understand the awfulness of sin and its consequences? Or rather, if I do that and say and teach and preach any type of forgiveness, apart from repentance, at all, my fear is that, not wanting to, not meaning to, but in fact, in my mind anyway, I am minimizing sin and trivializing sin. Now I would never say that Doug does that, don’t you think that Doug would ever for a minute want to do that, or anyone that I am friends with, anyway. That’s not my meaning at all. But this is a fear that I have, that if I go that route and teach two different kinds of forgiveness, one that you just give unconditionally, how am I loving them to in any sense ever have them understand that they are forgiven apart from repentance? Does that help them to understand the awfulness of sin, the gravity of it, the consequences of it? No, they’re just forgiven.

My main concern (and I don’t have the answers to this. Doug needs to help me out here) is: how would Doug and I differ in completing this sentence: "Because you have not confessed or repented, I …" Treat you how? Behave in what way to you? How would he and I differ on that? And here’s one of my fears, that after having all these position papers and "I believe this" and "I believe that" and all these views, that when it’s all said and done that it’s possible that Doug and I would both complete that sentence in exactly the same way. And there would be absolutely no difference at all in how we would actually respond, behave, treat feel toward, one who has not confessed or repented. So I want to know, how would Doug and I differ in completing this sentence: "Because you have not confessed or repented, I …"

Let me complete that sentence the way I would. I can’t speak for Doug, but let me tell you my answers. "Because you have not confessed or repented, I am still not bitter, I still love you, I still desire your repentance so both God and I can forgive you on the only basis I know forgiveness happens, and that’s with repentance, and I still may be kind and beneficial to you, just like God is kind and beneficial to those He has not forgiven, but I also, because you have not confessed or repented, I do not cancel the debt, I do not forgive. I also hold the debt against you, because it is not cancelled." So do I hold something against someone that I haven’t forgiven? Yes I do; I hold the debt against them. Why? Because the debt’s not cancelled.

I may also continue to pursue getting the debt paid, because it’s not cancelled. I may pursue you and keep after you to get the debt paid. How do I do that if the debt’s been cancelled and forgiven? I don’t understand that. I may also publicly tell as may people as I possibly can about your sin and try to bring you shame, in accord with 2 Thessalonians 3:14, "in order that they may be shamed." I will do that. I’ll scream it from the rooftops, just like in the Old Testament it says, "And tell all Israel, so that they may not…" over and over again, basically shout it from the rooftops, "This guy is a sinner, he’s unrepentant, he’s entrenched against God and against man, he’s not forgiven. Tell all Israel." And I will follow 2 Thessalonians 3, and I will endeavor to try to bring shame upon you, if that will maybe perchance bring you to repentance, where I can really then forgive you.

I will cut off all association with you and not even eat with you, because you are not forgiven, and I have not cancelled the debt. I will seek your punishment, as in 2 Cor. 2:6, "sufficient for such a one is the punishment." He didn’t say they never should have punished. He says, "It’s enough now," and I view it’s enough because they’ve repented and they’re sorry and they’ve asked forgiveness, and you don’t want them to be overwhelmed with it now. It’s sufficient. So I will be consistent with that, and I will say, "Because you have not confessed or repented I will seek your punishment and continue to do that." I don’t see how you can say, "I will continue to seek your punishment," for those you have forgiven and cancelled the debt of. I don’t understand that.

There are occasions (and I have done this in my life but exceedingly rarely, and it’s reserved for some very special cases) where I have called for an imprecation, God’s wrath, His curse and His judgment, on someone. "And because you have not confessed or repented, I will reserve the right in some cases, I will pray for your destruction, your demise, your being turned over to Satan for the destruction of the flesh…" I will pray down every ill and everything I can on you. Now that is not my habit, folks, but I have done it I used to drive by, on my way to my old office, Reproductive Service, an abortion clinic, every day. My constant prayer as I drove by that abortion clinic was, "God, my desire is that they would be brought to repentance, that they would understand the overwhelming forgiveness that You have for those who repent. My greatest desire is that they stop their sin, repent, and are forgiven of that as I was. They are no worse than I am. I am a vile, wicked, sinful man and You forgave me when I repented of that, and I desire that for them. But, if they do not, go get them. There is nothing bad enough that I would not desire for them if that is the needful loving thing to protect society, to protect the innocent, and to maybe ultimately bring about their repentance so that they can be forgiven. Because if some really bad stuff happens to them, maybe that will get their attention, and that’s my heart’s desire.

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