I’m not going to use "conditional" and "unconditional" or "social" and "internal" or any of the terms used so far, or "a heart of forgiveness" and "extended forgiveness", or "internal forgiveness" and "personal forgiveness" or "willing to forgive" and "actually forgiving". I’ve decided to come up with 2 entirely original names that haven’t been used yet, for my message:

Both of these are types of forgiveness. Both of them are forms of forgiving.

And one of them is definitely not the other. They are different, and are to appear at different times.

We are taught, when you pray, say, Luke 11:4. We are taught, when you pray, say, Matt 6:12. That is elaborated on, that when you pray, if you don’t, Matt 6:14, and when you pray, if you do, 6:15. We are told, whenever you pray, Mark 11:25. I believe that whenever we pray, the practice of the petition in the Lord’s Prayer "forgive us our sins, as we forgive everyone who sins against us", includes the actual forgiving, in the presence of God, of anyone who has sinned against us.

This does not in itself restore anything, make the relationship better, and there may not be any alteration or improvement of our relationship with that person at all. We still be quite at odds with and separated from them – even as Jesus was not in a moment of harmony with His murderers when He said "Father, forgive them", nor was Stephen, when he said "Lord, do not hold this sin against them." The quality of our relationship with a person who has wronged us, depends not only on our forgiving spirit, but depends upon God’s grace at work in their lives and their repentance.

But that has nothing to do with our forgiving them in our prayers before God. We can do that, whether they ever repent or not. I have 4 lines of argument that I think demonstrate that we should do this.

Let me ask what I hope will be a disturbing question, for the 1^st one:

1^st, IF the only time to forgive anyone is when they repent (if the only forgiveness is "conditional") then why does forgiving them even come up in connection with prayer – when you are in private and not even interacting with other persons? Why not have forgiveness only come up when talking about relating to them? Why should it ever even come up when speaking of praying – relating to God – when they are not even present?

Asked another way, why didn’t Jesus just add, in one of those cases, the words "if they repent", if that’s what He was meaning? Simply answered, because He wasn’t talking about your relationship with them at that point; He was talking about your walk with God, and how you must give up all rights to punish, require anything, ask for justice, or have any expectations, of people who have sinned against you. He wants us to learn how to graciously give that up.

At this point I’ll raise the hermeneutical question that’s been presented – may we make Lk 17:3 the "controlling" passage, on the basis of interpreting the unclear verses in light of the clear one? For instance, the whole NT asserts that salvation is by grace through faith. But 1 Pet 3:21; 1 Tim 2:15. Those are unclear verses. We have to do some thinking about "in what sense" do Peter and Paul use "saved" there. Or, 1 Cor 15:29 – we aren’t going to accept that we should practice "baptism for the dead" because the Bible nowhere teaches us to think of baptism as ever an act one can undergo in a substitutionary manner for another person. So, we must get our doctrine of the meaning of baptism from clear passages and then figure out how to take this verse in a way which is consistent with those, not that tears the whole doctrine down.

So it is asserted that Lk 17:3 is clear and the verses about forgiving when we pray are not clear. But that doesn’t add up in this case: for this basic reason – the verses about forgiving when we pray are not unclear. They are quite clear. They don’t use difficult terminology. They don’t violate anything in Lk 17:3. They just teach another duty entirely – forgiveness in prayer.

2^nd, do you realize that forgiving a person who sins against me, when they repent, comes up only once in the NT, but forgiving when I am in prayer comes up 4 times in the NT.

3^rd, forgiving with no reference to repentance, but just as another gracious attribute of Christian character, comes up in Eph 4:2, 4:32, Col 3:13 – and it is listed there alongside kindness, tenderness, humility, patience, love, compassion, gentleness, bearing with each other, putting away bitterness and wrath and anger and clamor and malice – all of those being, duties expected of us which need not await any action on the part of other persons. I think the forgiveness which Paul speaks of there is just like those: awaiting no action on the part of the other person.

4^th, look also at Luke 6:37: "Do not judge and you will not be judged; and do not condemn, and you will not be condemned; pardon, and you will be pardoned." – we are to pardon. And who, in context, are the persons talked about? Vv 35-36: "But love your enemies, and do good, and lend, expecting nothing in return; and your reward will be great, and you will be sons of the Most High; for He Himself is kind to ungrateful and evil men. Be merciful, just as your Father is merciful." The context is in speaking of imitating the ways of God in dealing with enemies – the relationship is not at all reconciled – they are enemies – the context is, how God deals with ungrateful, evil men, who are still enemies. We are to forgive people like that, in imitation of our God who is like that.

On a totally practical level, think about Mark 11:25 and ask: what do you do when you pray? You who hold the other position – when you pray, do you in fact only name the people who repented to you, as those you forgive before God? And withhold the names of those who have not repented to you? Or could you say to the Lord, "I forgive them, too?" I know that advocates of only conditional forgiveness are not bitter at them. But I think what you are calling an absence of bitterness, IS your forgiving them.

I say, you have forgiven them. That’s why you are not living angry with them, viewing them as debtors to you who owe you something. This is why you do not pursue consequences against them or some sort of just retribution. You have in fact forgiven the offense. And I would say we should forgive them – in the presence of God. You just don’t like applying the term "forgiveness" to what you did. But it is.

There are just too many verses that speak of being gracious, forbearing, patient, love covering sin, to allow Luke 17:3 to be the only type of forgiveness that we recognize. There is the whole collection of verses about "covering" offenses that Doug read, typified mostly by 1 Pet 4:8.

This kind of duty makes utterly good sense and is perfectly a match for the graciousness of God towards us, when we consider that, despite my intention to forsake all sinning against God, I have never confessed all of my sins and will never do so. It is a 100% slam-dunk case for me to suggest that you nor I have multitudes of sins that we never confessed; it is a safe bet to say that neither you nor I have confessed most of our sins! Yet God has forgiven them all.

So I do hold that there is a forgiveness which is done, and ought to be done, in the presence of God in prayer which is not awaiting the repentance of the offender.

Luke 17:3-4: "Be on your guard! If your brother sins, rebuke him; and if he repents, forgive him. And if he sins against you seven times a day, and returns to you seven times, saying, 'I repent,' forgive him."

There is a clearly relational, restorative, reconciling forgiveness at stake here. What Jesus tells His disciples to do here is not talking about what you do or think when the one who offended you is not there; not what you do in prayer; or what goes on in your heart – though of course, this cannot be sincerely done without the right heart – but the focus here is on you and a person who has sinned against you. What does it take for the two of you to come back together? To be at harmony again? To walk together in fellowship as those who are agreed and not divided?

The happy agreement of harmonious fellowship from life to life, requires the agreement which confession of sin is: agreement as to who sinned and what was done wrong and repentance of the sin confessed. And this is just as vital as the first, but different.

Now, I know what John & Kevin are trying to preserve. And part of how we can all stand each other and live at peace with one’s varied positions, despite our differing positions is, we know that those men are not justifying staying bitter or resentful; they harbor no place in their hearts or theology for that, just as we don’t. And they know that Doug and I take call people to repentance just as seriously as they do; they know that we stand for accountability to holiness every bit as firmly as they.

Further, they know that we make efforts and have made efforts to restore two people at odds, who have an offense between them, seeking their full reconciliation; that this is a goal just as dear to us as to them and that we see that things relationally are very incomplete where that has not occurred. In fact, where that has not occurred, one or more persons may well demonstrate they are not saved! It’s that important.

But nothing important to the reconciling process is lost or neglected by forgiving a person in our heart, in our prayers before God. In fact, if anything, it may greatly speed the reconciling process up. If both parties in conflict actually forgive each other in prayer before they even come together for confrontation, to see who was at fault, they are pretty far down the road of extending forgiveness to one another when the subject comes up and they get into the nuts and bolts of talking it out.

When I choose not to deal with a impenitent person according to their sins and iniquities, when I give up the right to punish or trouble them over it, when I choose not to hold it against them or treat them accordingly, even before they have repented, this is also properly called, "forgiveness" – and I don’t think we lose anything to do that in prayer.

Now, it does not bestow every benefit which forgiveness could bestow, because it cannot. The sinner’s impenitence prevents my forgiving heart from attaining its ultimate goal: reconciliation and peace between us. And so long as he remains impenitent, he is still in danger even of hell fire. But there was still is a very real forgiveness internally, in my heart, for him.

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Let me raise a couple of searching, concluding questions:

If we hold the "conditional" forgiveness position (we only forgive those who repent), then where does that leave us in handling those many situations in which you think you have been sinned against, and you are mistaken? The fault is yours. Maybe you sinned, and not your neighbor who you’re offended at. Or, maybe nobody sinned, but now you are erring in regarding him as guilty of sin and so are sinning by being divided from him!

How do we rid ourselves of guiltiness in those cases, if we do not choose to forgive? We think we should wait until he repents to forgive him. But the fact is, he has done nothing wrong.

You see, we could relieve a lot of strain in those matters by forgiving him and moving on with life. And most of you have done this (I hope all of you have done this!) at some time or another in life, and it has been good for you to do it. Things you took offense at; then you gave it up and held it no longer against him; you forgave it. Then you re-thought it, and in time wondered at yourself, "What in the world was I even so offended at?"

If we hold the conditional position (only forgive those who repent) how we do handle those situations (and they won’t be a few) in which we are holding out on a person to repent, and won’t forgive them, when they have in fact repented but we are awaiting words from them that sound to us more sincere and credible as evidence of repentance? Again, in my view of it, you can handle those things by forgiving him from the heart, even when you are not sure he has adequately or sincerely repented. You can forgive him before God in prayer even as you wait and work for the improvement of the relationship.

So: All Christians should relish the opportunity to reflect God in both of these ways:

1^st, in the way of His graciousness, in being so ready to forgive, He stands with open arms. There is a "waiting" forgiving in this. Perhaps it’s helpful to allude to Rom 3:25, which refers to the OT era as a time in which "in the forbearance of God He passed over the sins previously committed." Are we perhaps called upon to imitate that? I would think so. If God did it for multitudes of men, there are 10,000 reasons for you and I do that for the few who sin against us in life.

There simply has to be, in our theology and practice, some place for a quality and type of forgiveness which does not depend an individual’s repentance – and all Christians practice this on some level – when we patiently bear a wrong committed against us, and seek no retribution, retain no grudge, and require no compensation for the evil deed done – we just drop it in our hearts and move on in life, without anger at the person and in fact treating them better than they deserve, with speech and actions full of grace. We treat them as if they had not sinned against us at all.

But 2^nd, we also must imitate God’s forgiveness in the way of His command to repent and His decree of justice, in insisting that the relationship is not right until a sinner returns and repents. If we don’t have a place for this, we will leave conflicts unresolved. And I will not teach anyone to just forgive from the heart as your way of evading confrontation with someone who sinned against you in such a way as you should not just forbear it or "cover" it, but for the health of their soul, you should talk to them about it!

You know what happens so often between people when they have a conflict that they leave unresolved – it so often rears back up later. We can’t sweep offenses under the rug and say "I just don’t want to deal with him on that, I’ll just forget it." You are not likely to be able to do that, just forget! Probabilities are very high that you will remember that against him and become resentful if you don’t make this right with your neighbor! Loving your neighbor enough to speak with him about his sin. Knowing that the sinfulness of his heart which manifested itself in that wrong against you, is still part of his life, and it will harm his walk, it will damage his other relationships, if you don’t help him overcome it.

If you love your neighbor, you owe him on this – the attempt to deliver his soul from hell and turn back one who strays from the truth – to fulfill the duty of James 5:19-20: "My brethren, if any among you strays from the truth, and one turns him back, let him know that he who turns a sinner from the error of his way will save his soul from death, and will cover a multitude of sins.´ You should want to do this, too, and not be content to have merely said in prayer, "I forgive him."

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A couple of important closing thoughts – said before, but re-affirmed now with clarity:

1^st, There are times when forgiveness done in prayer, in your heart, cannot be extended personally.

Times when, it would just not be wise to say "I forgive you" to a person, because it gets in the way of them seeing their responsibility to repent.

Cases of church discipline could be complicated by this at times. On occasion, when a person will not repent and is obstinate about continuing in sin, we distract that person, from him, to us, to talk about how we have forgiven them, when the prior obligation is, to keep the pressure on them that they must repent or they will be lost. We don’t need to be highlighting or grand-standing how phenomenally gracious we are, when the message that needs to get through is, you will perish if you don’t repent.

2^nd, There are occasions when, the sin committed is of a grave enough nature that, forgiveness is not the truth which most cries out to be displayed, but justice. Hell is testimony to the fact that there are times and places when the message on God’s billboard is not "forgiven", but "perish." The fact that God brings wars to pass is testimony to the fact that there are times when the message God wants on display is not "forgiven", but "death."

Sometimes, a call for justice is the truth which cries out to be displayed. I know it’s important to advocates of conditional forgiveness, that we not have ludicrous scenarios like, people telling murderers of their children, through tears, that they have forgiven them. There are moments in life when it is 1) proper to desire someone’s death 2) proper to take permissible steps in the system towards their death, and 3) proper to rejoice when they have been put to death.

Most of us may never face this, but some will and many a righteous person has. And those who work within the legal system, or who are at war with oppressors, know that this is relevant.

Yet, we don’t want to get too far afield from what we face in ordinary life, and the fact that, nearly all offenses which are committed against us, repented of or not, can either be dealt with by forbearance, patience, knowing our weakness, or forgiven in prayer; and none of that making us evade faithful confrontation when we should, but as a heart preparatory step towards it.

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